I had a client in the other day who told me she decided to keep her last name when she got married. I was so shocked about this and asked if her husband minded. I was even more shocked when she said, “No”. In the middle of the haircut I said, “I’m sorry I have to stop right now and give you a high five!” How amazing is this?
This conversation lead me to question why I felt so uncomfortable with the fact that I may have to give up my last name one day. I started wondering how do other women feel? Do they want to give up their last names? Why do women decide to go with the status quo and do what everyone else is telling them or what the norm is? Do they change their names because their husbands, fathers, mothers, friends, are telling them they have to… or just because that’s what everyone does?
After laughing over the high five she suggested, in a somewhat joking matter, that I should ask the next guy I go on date with how he feels about a woman changing her name when she gets married. Then I’ll know right from the start if I should go out with him again.
What do you think? Should a woman change her name when she gets married? Do you think it’s romantic or is it just a silly tradition? What do you think your boyfriend would say if you told him you weren’t going to change your last name? Or for the married gals, what would your husband say if you decided to change your name back like Kris Jenner from the Kardashians?
I think it depends on how strongly the couple feel about their stand on it. A girl I work with told me that the women that are from where she lived in India never change their names when they marry, and that their children take on the father's first name as their last name - so no one in the family has the same last name unless they have multiple children. She thinks it's odd that we do that here in America.
ReplyDeleteI decided to give my daughter my last name since I knew I didn't want to marry her father! ;-)
I think most women are choosing not to change their names ... I'm the only one I know who did it, and only because it didn't make sense to keep another man's name (Dad's). If people choose to keep their names to make a statement, it would only make sense if girls took their mothers' last names ... which I think is more logical. Otherwise, they're really just saying it's more important to remain a "daddy's girl" than it is to take their husbands' names. On the other hand, for women whose names are really a part of who they are, it is respectable to keep your name ... in which case, it would be awesome to see women pass their last names to their daughters rather than giving them their dads' last names.
ReplyDeleteGreat blog! I’m old fashioned to an extent and this is one of those things that I would do because I believe it is the right thing. I was brought up this way so it’s just the way I feel and it’s hard to feel any differently about it. However I give it up to the women that decide to keep their last names and power to them. I don’t think there is anything wrong with it and it should be a woman’s right to decide how she wants to be addressed. In my case I have been with my guy for almost 10 years now so if we decide to take that walk down the aisle you best believe I’m taking that last name of his lol. Plus his last name is already hyphenated so bye-bye Melendez….and it was nice knowing you lol.
ReplyDeletebtw, this was a very good blog and I like what you said about knowing whether you should go out with a guy again if he didn't accept you the way you are... It's important to know what's important to us, and it's great to see young women standing up for what they believe in, no matter how progressive or traditional. Stand up for who you are and the right man will come along. Don't limit yourself to dates with men who don't love you for who you are, or who don't respect your beliefs. High five :)
ReplyDelete